Crazy Israeli Cab Driver #341,979

Conversation:::: (at 12:05 AM on January 1st, 2008---I have just been picked up on a city corner in Haifa wearing a sweater, loafers, a black beanie, and...basketball shorts)

Cab Driver: (in thick accent) Why aren't you celebrating the New Year?
Me: Well....it isn't new years to me unless the ball has dropped in Times Square. You know?
CD: Well...I don't celebrate New Years because I am a Jew!!
Me: (meekly) I'm a Jew, too.
CD: You know? We have Hannukah. We have Purim. We have Rosh Hashana. Why should we celebrate this goyishe day.
Me: It is the day of when we reset the calender year.....
CD: I don't understand it! I've worked in Russia. I've worked in Iran. I've worked a lot in Nigeria. I was once in Florence, and I hear these two Israelis speaking Hebrew, and they turn to me to ask me where a certain church is. I tell them, "It is over there. But---look---there is a very nice Synagogue over there. Why don't you go there first?" And they tell me, "Why would we go there??" I don't understand it...
Me: I know what you mean. I read it in papers every day how so many Israelis want Israel to just be another "normal" country, like any European country. Why would anyone want to be normal when we are special?
CD: You are right. There is nothing good about the Europeans. I was once in Zurich with my wife. We went to a bank to take out money, and I have my Magen David (Jewish Star) necklace out, and we got up to the teller, and he is about to help us, when the manager comes and waves us off and says, "Nicht helfen die ferfluchta Juden" [Which means something to the effect of, "Don't help the fucking Jews."] So I punched him in the head until there was blood. I beat him almost to death. The police officer cames and I tell him what happened. Then, my sister's husband calls me a "ferfluchta Jude" and I beat him up, too [Note: He really said his sister's husband. I have no idea what to make of this]. The police told me I had to leave the country. I told him that is fine, that I will take my money and leave....My friends told me they thought I was brave to do this. I told them that I would kill anyone who called me a ferfluchta Juden.
Me: I probably would, too.
...........

I have more to post about this past weekend. Coming soon.

Happy New Year (?),

Michael